ofenchant's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- chase that feeling I guess we all think we're more fabulous than we are. I guess the glitter and sparkle (why doesn't the word bling make more people shudder?) we adorn/suffocate ourselves with serves the purpose of And I like to shift focus quickly because of the adhd. Apparently we're all obsessed now with now and how we want it now and how we need to be entertained and how. I like to generalise. The baby is kicking. It's all here, everything I've been working towards. Hovering, teasing. Threatening to disappear. But then the baby moves and things seem better. Because ... Everything they say is true. You exist now for him. You dream of all the things he's going to be and try to ignore the many ways you'll fuck him up. He doesn't seem to care about any of that when he's rolling around in there. He's going to be chubby and have rosy cheeks and I'm going to be the person I always wanted to be, right? Why do we do this? Because we want to be happy. Not elated, not mildly amused, but happy. Content. But it always seems to sparkle more when you're on the other side of it. 9:42 p.m. - 2009-07-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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